


A Close Shave

by angryplantbabe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Humor, Kanaya is also here briefly but not enough to merit her own character tag, as is the case with karkat, sibling hijinks and lowjinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 16:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7274926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryplantbabe/pseuds/angryplantbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave has discovered the miracle of shaving. A little homestuck drabble</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Close Shave

Rose shifted on her armchair, thumbing one of Karkat’s troll romance novels, Fuschia and Flushed. She had to admit, she’d never expected the complexities of the quadrants to be so intriguing; these love pentangle had her wide-eyed. As she turned a page, eager to discover if the hidden fuschia troll would admit her love for the lowblood, a flash of golden skin stretched across the table, catching her eye.

“Rose,” Dave said, eagerness running through his voice. “Rose, feel my legs.”

She blinked, eyes flicking from his godtier robe, bunched around his thighs to reveal bare calf, and his face, the corner of his mouth just barely lifting up.

Already she could tell that he was ecstatic.

“Pardon?” she asked warily, setting down her novel. 

“I shaved my legs. They feel so goddamn fucking magical. Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?” He twisted his body so that the light from a nearby lamp caught on the muscle and revealed the completely hairless skin.

Rose lifted a manicured brow. “I’d thought you were aware. If I’ve offended you by withholding information, I’m truly sorry. Is there another societally imposed feminine hygiene process you’d like to know about? Perhaps menstruation?”

Shaking his head, Dave replied, “No, Rose, you don't understand. My legs are so smooth. It's like- a baby's newborn porcelain ass couldn't even hold a fucking candle to these puppies. The little infant tries to keep the candle steady between its two rosy asscheeks but it ends up falling out and giving the baby a free goddamn waxing. Now the ass is even softer, Rose, so you'd think it could compare to these heavenly meatsticks I'm walking around on. Well, you're wrong. Check em out.” He shifted his leg closer to Rose’s idly tapping fingers.

She looked Dave in what she hoped was the eye; it was frustratingly difficult to tell with his ever-present shades. “You do realize that I’m familiar with the sensation? I’ve shaved since I was eleven, as is expected of all pubescent young ladies in Western societies.”

“Holy shit,” Dave said. “That’s amazing. Let me feel your legs.”

“What?” Her lips puckered.

“Come on, I just want to see if it’s the same for everyone.”

“You’re right,” Rose said, drawing up the skirt of her godtier robes. “I wouldn’t make you miss out on the chance to feel up your sister’s legs.”

Dave recoiled. “Don’t make this weird, Rose, please.”

It was her turn to grin. It’d be a sorry day when she passed up a perfect opportunity to fluster him. From her perusal of books and television during the meteor trip, she knew it was quite common in siblings. “Of course. It’s just my ectobiological brother leaping at the chance to run his hands down my leg to fulfill some sort of shaved skin fetish.”

“Goddamnit. See, this is what I’m always talking about. You take a perfectly normal situation and then you add your Wikipedia psychobabble to turn it into a weirdass Freudian thing.” Withdrawing his leg and extending his middle finger, Dave headed towards the door. “I’m going to find Karkat. At least he’ll appreciate this motherfucking gift. And I’m telling him you stole one of his novels!”

“Go ahead!” Rose called. “Also, make sure you use the shaving cream for sensitive skin next time! I keep it next to the troll slime and the hair conditioner!"

"Thank you!"

As Dave left, Kanaya stepped into the room and stared as he walked away. “What was all that about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Rose said, picking up her book again. “I just haven’t shaved in a few days.”


End file.
